Thursday, October 28, 2010

Space Helmets

This is the collar which holds the inflating airbag helmet and deploys it only when needed. Seriously. Model unknown.

Juan Cool Romance's recent love interest modeling Romancer's new Intergalactic 3.0, which TWM will be racing in next season.

For years, everyone knows Team Wooly Mammoth racers have been chucking their helmets 5K into each race (Tron Tronson "Luke Warm" Rubixxson always collects them on his way to the feedzone) because we don't want our gorgeous hair obscured by all those straps, styrofoam, plastic and whatnot. It's also in our Oakley deal to go helmetless so that their brand is associated with the beauty and tradition that our faces radiate.

We've gotten a lot for flak for "safety" concerns because of this historic approach to racing minus skull protection. Well, I want all the critics to take a look at TWM's new helmets. We're so excited about the future and lazers and shit, that we had to have these things.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

2010 Tour of Austin

On behalf of Sir Christopher Trickey his secretary Kemot BagiƄski prepared this team statement:

This past Labor Day weekend was full of racing for Team Wooly Mammoth, as the herd came out in force for Holland Racing's Tour of Austin, a four day series of crit races held on some of Austin's most popular and scenic race courses.

Friday night was the prologue for the event, held over 2 full loops of Driveway Austin. Bettina Hodginskaya and Jamie Dayo strapped on their TT helmets and donned the Wooly skin suits. Dayo had some technical difficulties out of the starting gate, but Bettina threw down the gauntlet. She bested not only her Cat 3/4 class, but her overall split would have put her on the top step of the podium among even the pro ladies. Congrats Bettina, Ms. Cat 3 Wooly Mammoth in Da House State TT Championa.

Grace and style of riding of Bettina Hodginskaya were seen through out the whole weekend...!

Saturday was a day for lovers, and bike racers. The weather in Austin was absolutely amazing, after the rain swept through the valleys and lined the tree leaves with the dewy promise of another trip down victory lane. I won't make you wait for it. After having raced in the early morning 123 pro race, Ms.Hodginskaya lined up again and took down the 3/4 race. The girls were asking her to please cat up.

You have to click this link to see Bettinas one of the kind victory salute:

On the boys side, Mssrs. Baginski, Guissepe Slatesenvald, JDayo, Matteo Moro and Sir Christoph joined forces to contend in a somewhat sluggish Cat 2/3 affair, round and round the shop house loop at the Driveway. Normally a race of smooth pulls and fast finishes, the field spent the majority of its time admiring the weather. Mr. Dayo had another technical difficulty with an ungentlemanly lane change from someone still admiring his skin suit, but Jim landed on his feet nonetheless. TWM boys vowed to try again the following day, after managing pack finishes among a clogged up bunch sprint.

Sunday was the day we had all been waiting for. The Eracing Stigma crit, held at the Austin State Hospital, is not just a fast race, it's across the street from TacoDeli, which means we were fully fueled with Austin's best tacos both before and after the race. The boys lined up Seven Strong today, counting Patrizio (back from WesternPortwalia), Kookie, Matteo, Slatenvald, Griswoldo, Dayo and Sir Christoph. The race went off like a bang, and among the course's 8 cramped corners, the Wooly bretheren rode on and off the front of the pack, making the field string out and pay for its mediocrity from the day before. Kookie, Guiseppe and Griswold spent extended trips attacking off the front, while Patrizio and Trickey rode among the first 5-10 wheels, always looking for a way to make it harder. With about 10 laps to go, a small group of 5 escaped off the front, and then the chase was on. Patrizio and Trickey, helped by Rothe Training's Day-Stirrat and AustinBike's Schaeffer, brought the break back with one lap to go. At that moment, our retired TWM brother Adam Gates seized the moment and jumped off the front, taking the well deserved victory. It was a beautiful day of racing, followed by revelry at Sir Trickey's home afterward. Oh yes, Bettina raced twice again, this time landing on the 2nd podium step of the 3/4 field.

Monday morning saw the legs aching a little, and the sweat glands trying to rid themselves of the bourbon from the night before. The fourth day in the Tour of Austin is a very technical course held at UT's Pickle Research Center. The 2/3 boys this time were represented by Dayo, Slate and Trickey. So technical is the course that in the first lap, several riders practiced getting ready for the upcoming cyclocross season, and all of a sudden the 70 man field was cut in half.
The gallant Sir Christoph Trickey has traced his ancestry back to King Druis who founded the Druids.

Sir Christoph rode again among the first 10 wheels of the race (as you can see on the photo future winner of the race is sitting on Chris wheel and using his expert cornering and tactical skills (yes, that man with out neck won that race!), and tried his luck with an attack on the final lap from approximately 800 meters. This is approximately 500 meters too soon, FYI, as right after he rounded the last corner the lights were extinguished, and Sir Trickey narrowly avoided becoming one with the video cameras. Slate finished the act from TWM, and the weekend was almost . . . I say almost complete.
By his slender look and smoothness he is always a desired object of the camera lenses - Guissepe Slatesenvald.

Bettina got on the podium again, 2nd again in the Cat 3/4 field. But her domination of the overall omnium was nothing short of spectacular. Her total combined points for the weekend bested the nearest competitor by more than 40 points. She also got the prize for being the sexiest mamma out there. Way to go Bettina!

This coming weekend is Chappel Hill, a grueling road race which has a nasty uphill finish a la the Vuelta de Espana. After that, its time to train for the state road race to be held in Ft. Hood on October 9-10.

It was a great time racing with all of our friends and teammates. We thank our wonderful sponsors, the Wooly papparazzi, and of course toast the double rainbow which awaits the end of this monsoon season.

/// Sir Christoph

ps. if somehow you still don't know what this thing is all about our cat 2 leader explains it in this post race interview; again, how many teams got post race press conference and doping control, none but Team Wooly Mammoth - it was very positive experience -

Sunday, March 14, 2010

AIR Beach Bod

Juan Benedicto Rainbowpath Wheelarosa wows crowds with his aerial expertise at a
recent frisbee exhibition put on by Romancer's Beach Sports Division
(BSD) in conjunction with some Team Wooly Mammoth racers.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Romancer Rolls Out New Commercial

I Am Romancer from Team Wooly Mammoth on Vimeo.

This spring Team Wooly Mammoth's bicycle and beach sports sponsor Romancer International is planning on rolling out a series of television ads to air across Europe featuring members of the team. These ads are aimed at a specific demographic of incredibly fit, handsome and stylish young people which Romancer calls it's target market.

Company PR Spokesman Vitaly Krivstov said, "Most racers around the world get professionally fit before they choose their bike. At Romancer, we judge whether or not the racer is fit enough to have one of our seductive machines... and then they are allowed to ride a Romancer." He elaborated later, "Our bikes and beach sports gear is designed to accentuate the beach-bod. If no beach-bod is present we have a problem."

TWM has enjoyed the Romancer sponsorship for the past 25 seasons it has raced under the Arctic Rainbow, and racers have relished the opportunity to voice some input in the recently formed beach sports wing of Romancer International.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Leg Care Secrets With Tron Rubixxson

Leg Care Secrets with Tron Rubixxson from Team Wooly Mammoth on Vimeo.

After years spent racing the minor classics and amateur races across Europe, Tron Rubixxson has finally transitioned from racer to Assistant Directeur Sportif/ Soigneur for Team Wooly Mammoth for 2010.

This role suits his abilities perfectly, and as he recently displayed at the team's early season training camp, he is excited to help guide the team this year. Using a mixture of the knowledge he gained racing, the wisdom of his people (Latvians), and the power of the Spirit Eagle, Tron is eager to help the team excel in the early classics.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Kemot Jumps In Bed With TWM For 2010

Wheelarosa, Baginski, and Newellta discuss their new romance over a fine vintage of Bordeau.

Once word hit the quaint streets of Clarksville that Kemot Baginski was unattached and riding without any team support for the 2010 race season, the seduction began.

Baginski enjoyed his greatest success last season racing for the Austin Nationals where he amassed a pile of top 10s, a handful of podiums, and a victory at the Alsatian Country Road Race. The former Polish Iceboating National Champion struck gold again at the Texas State Championship in the Age Based category for 30-34 year olds which featured a stacked field of less handsome competitors.

Emails, photos, and suggestive videochats ensued, and the result was one unbelievable evening with two of pro-cycling's most enigmatic superstars Patricio Newellta, and 7 time Puerto Rican National Champion Juan Benedicto Wheelarosa.

When the last of the vino was downed, the contracto was inked and Baginski was sent home with a satchel full of "supplements," overjoyed at the prospect of racing with the most charismatic and provocative team in professional cycling.

Welcome to the team Kemot.